Friday, October 22

What is happening to me? My priorities are so distorted these days. I've been working on the website eight days straight, sometimes thirteen hours a day, with piles of clothes all around me. My six foot desk is so damn crowded, I am reduced to working in a keyboard's worth of space and I'm squinting so bad that I look like Jerry Lewis as the 'Geisha Boy'. I gotta do something else.

Tuesday, October 26

Decided to go the mall to see if I could find any patent leather boots today. I tried to go through the west entrance to avoid having to smell Victoria's Secret, much less actually see it, and ended up in Saks for about three hours. Donna Karan is ripping off Courreges with her silly little millenium collection and all the women in the shoe department were snapping up hideous Chanel spectator flats. Fashion has become so freaking uniform. Three categories - cheap, boring or ridiculously expensive and all of it is poorly made. I think too much, I swear. What is it with these chicks in the Midwest? They all insist on having blonde hair at any cost. So okay, they end up with the color blond but it looks like the stuffing of a horsehair mattress and there they all are, with their Kate Spade bags and their platform slides. One woman was wearing black socks with her slides and she had the nerve to give me the elevator eye! Didn't platform slides die out about two and a half years ago or am I living in a bizarre vacuum? And don't even get me started on Kate Spade. Those bags are about as original as Milli Vanilli. Maybe I need to be back at my computer where I don't have to see fashion poverty like this. When things get ugly, i just hit "back". Needless to say, I left empty-handed, went home and ordered a leather bag at coach.com.

Wednesday, October 27

I have decided I don't care what other women are wearing. Facing the reality of it is too draining. I have also vowed not to shop in public anymore. Now that I can buy Manolo Blahniks at the Neiman Marcus website, what do I have to physically go there for? Let the FedEx guy bring them to me and if I hate 'em, I'll send them back. Why do women shop in stores? Is there anyone over 23 who still thinks it's fun? Damn, Halloween is coming up and we don't have any candy. I'll go order it from the supermarket website.

but the game is worth the candle.

apres moi, l'enokiworld

Thursday, October 28

Damn supermarket. I ordered eight bags of candy and they sent me one bag of Brach's Circus Peanuts and seven bags of prunes instead. How can you confuse Baby Ruth with Sunsweet prunes??? No kid is going to want those! I couldn't even get my grandmother to eat them. Now I am really going to have to go the store.

Friday, October 29

I actually lifted my high holy behind out of that chair and went to a couture auction. It was in the middle of total farm country in a church. How nice of Jesus to rent out space for commercial endeavors. Most of the stuff was not my speed, really old, but a few things were worth staying for. A 1940s Eisenberg metal studded gown and some Claire McCardell wool apron dresses. The women there were something else, buying all those old hats. There is nothing as appetite suppressing as watching a 185 pound woman with orange hair and grey roots, dressed in jeans and a Liz Claiborne sweatshirt, smash an Edwardian hat down onto her head violently and giggle. You know how people say they are embarrassed to be white when they see white boys dance? Well, I was embarrassed to be a woman right then. Am I like THEM? In between raising their fat unmanicured hands to bid on another lacy Victorian concoction, they're at the lunch counter snorting down hot dogs and Diet Cokes. I have to focus on the goods more and not the modus operandi.

Sunday, October 31

A woman wrote me tonight asking if the Pucci dress on enokiworld would fit her. How the hell am I supposed to know?? Who are these people??

Monday, November 1

I got a call to appraise estate clothing and the woman told me there were "lots of designer clothes". Now what that usually means is a closet full of Ann Taylor from 1988 with a couple of Totes polyester rain scarves but I'll go anyway because one day there's going to be a miracle. I've dealt with this woman before. Her face is as long as a summer day and her hair isn't even real, it's molded, I just know it. later... Some old lady flipped her Oldsmobile out on 44 and I was late for my appointment. The consignor was a woman in her 60s who had gold loafers on and a eyeglass chain hanging from her Pierre Cardin glasses. Of course I was thinking to myself, "Oh yeah, Ann Taylor in the worst way." but she left me alone in the three closets upstairs and somehow I dug up three Rudi Gernreichs, a white Halston gown and a pair of Roger Vivier shoes. I got out of there paying thirty bucks for everything and I didn't even feel guilty. Went home and ate real food at the dining room table, not my monitor, for a change. Not a bad day. Not a bad day at all.

enoki